By C. Meagan Michael
Why does suicide appeal to anyone ever?
When life feels hopeless and there is no end in sight
to the pain and the suffering
you feel like human blight
A mistake of humanity
To which you don't belong
Why didn't she abort me
How did this go so wrong?
Who am I
Why am I
I don't understand
Do I serve a purpose
Other than the task at hand
Did I misunderstand the directions in life
Turning always left when I should have turned right
It pains me to contemplate how I can feel this way
Why do I regret living yet another day
Romanticizing suicide for all of my life
Even at my best
Hope of death
Underlined my life
Knowing I am part of a greater purpose matters
That I chose to live this life of tatters
I must have known I was strong enough to handle this choice
That I am who I am and I do have a voice
Am I supposed to shout to the heavens that life is so great
When I don't believe that
Is this my fate?
Though grateful I am to be here today
Understanding who I am in a wholly holy new way
Before we arrived here we did make a choice
We chose our parents, our life and our voice
Why did I choose such a challenging life
I could have been a man with 3 kids and a wife
Yet I have accepted this difficult fate
Overcoming challenges at this I am great
Who knew I would be so resilient a soul
Oh yes, that was me, this was my soul's goal
So, while I question my reason today
Living my life a wholly holy new way
I am blessed to know that one day I'll be free
But today my freedom I have found inside of me
The End
... is only the beginning.
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