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Sunday, July 31, 2016

Change Your Thinking, Heal Yourself! "The Position of Toxic Manipulator Has Been Eliminated"

By C. Meagan Michael

In order for us to transition from Victim To Survivor (and THRIVE!) we need to change our thinking in many dramatic ways. Our thought processes throughout our lives did not serve us. Unless we are willing to take an honest look at where our thinking was flawed and replace it with resolutions to old problems, we will remain exactly where we have been. Constantly creating the same situations with new people taking the place of the old.

Delving into our trauma enables us to ascertain why we think this way and where those thoughts originated. People who are not ready to make this move may find it triggering and even victim blaming. There is no blame here. We are not responsible for the abuse we suffered. We are responsible for not suffering it again with someone new.

Like a job that is no longer available. "We have eliminated the position of toxic manipulator. Those of you currently holding this position, take your stuff and exit the building. If you are still here when I count to 3 security will escort you out."

Notice there are no please's and thank yous. We have done enough of that with these people. Spending our lives finding a problem for every solution is not just a narc/toxic habit, it's a victim habit as well. I just addressed that in my next video which I am uploading currently. Thanks for sharing...#Peace

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Emotional Flashbacks Trigger Disassociation - Victimization is... what w...

Supermarket Shopping After Abuse Worst Case Scenario - This Just Happene...

Scapegoats Are The Narcissists Human Trash Receptacle! -- Am I A Narcissist?

By C. Meagan Michael
If you are wondering if you are a narc means you are surely not a narc. Narcissists are not introspective. They are always right. They have no accountability and take no responsibility for anything negative even in their own lives. Whatever happens, is "your" fault. Hence the Scapegoat. Narcissists MUST have someone to blame for their deeds and focus their flaws on. They can not carry around all this trash externally and they do not internalize it. They need us. We are their human trash receptacles.

Superman Syndrome? - Expectations & Attachment To Outcome Set Us Up For ...

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Surrounded By Plastic Toxicity We Crave Truth! Youtube Changes The World

Sassy Boo Angel - MyDogSas / It's Been Two Years...

It's been two years Sassy Boo. I still love you and think about you all the time. I pray that my ex-predator is taking great care of you. I know taking you from me was done in an effort to break me. You will be happy to know that it did not work.

I know that cruel Flying Monkey Edith helped ex-predator to change the names on your microchip while I was in the hospital recovering from a suicide attempt that was prompted by 8 years of abuse. I am grateful that she uses her Financial Security to show off by doing nice things for you. For this I am grateful. Your good health and continued happiness warm my heart.




Sassy, there are very bad people in this world. Luckily for you, they always care what other people think. Ex-predator is all about image and being perceived as victim and savior.


So, you are "owned" by two of the most toxic, self-absorbed, vain creatures on the planet who will always take great care of you because they need to keep up appearances. Imagine what an exhausting job it is to have to keep your lies straight and put on a mask every day of you life pretending to be what you are not. You are such an angel. You never see the evil in people, only the good.



When someone is incapable of emotions, empathy, love, and concern they mimic the emotions of others. Often it looks very fake and over the top because they glean their information from movies and TV. It's all an act. An over the top drama filled evil seeking empty life for them.

I am sorry to tell you that you are just a thing to them, you are not seen as a sovereign being with thoughts, feelings, and emotions all your own. If they could feel and empathize they would never have taken you from me knowing how much we love each other. We were just pawns to be played in their toxic game. Sadly, baby girl, some people use human children in the exact same way.


I am sorry that I was not strong enough at the time to fight for you. I know you understand this better than anyone. We were together during the worst of times but together we had the best of times. 


I will always be grateful to you my sweet angel. You taught me how to love and be a dog mommy. I adopted 2 dogs and 2 cats since we parted. You would love them and they, you. Meagan says you taught me how to be a great mommy and she wanted me to tell you "thanks." <3

Had you not come into my life and taught me that I was lovable and shown me that not everyone who displays signs of love has an agenda. Sometimes love truly is love and pure source energy.

Remember, we are all connected by the universal consciousness. We are all connected to and by source. Separation is just an illusion. I still feel you. I still love you. I am so grateful for every moment we spent together. Our 2 earth years together changed my life. Thank you for coming into my world and loving me Sassy.

Forever my girl. Forever your mommy,
C



Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Response To Fight Narcissism's Video - Toxic Shame, Pride & Narcissists

by C. Meagan Michael

I think the worst thing in these abusive relationships may be them attacking our shame. We "confess" to them and reveal our heart and mind's greatest shame(s). They have love bombed the snot out of us. We feel safe. We finally feel loved, secure and accepted. We have also externalized our self-worth. We have given it to our predator. All the while they PROUDLY keep storing all your pushable shame buttons in their cerebral hard drive ready to push them at just the right moments... your wedding, birthday, Xmas, a party, in public, when you feel really good about yourself etc. My mother used to always tell me that I could tell her anything. I bought into this for most of my life until I wised up and realized that nothing I told her benefitted me. It was juicy gossip for her to share with my toxic brother and toxic aunt. To be used against me and publically humiliate me. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change. The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. I accept that I can not change my mother or any other toxic person. I am brave enough to change myself. I know the difference. <3

After Breaking Free From Narcissistic - Feeling Is Healing

Monday, July 18, 2016

Why People Pleasing Is Displeasing To People - Post Abuse Highly Reactiv...

People Pleasing Is Displeasing To People - "They stand in judgement of our imperfections as we are standing before them trying to perfect them"

I awakened this morning with this message to share. We must allow others to live through and experience their own lessons in life. Our perpetual people pleasing ways are not allowing people to grow and learn.

Often we appear offensively arrogant in appearance as we try to "make it all better" for everyone around us. Do we have all our own "stuff" together? Are we perfect?
We lived and learned our own lessons. Has anyone ever said to you, "You need to feel better" and then you did? No, because you have not done the work. We need to process the information.

Life Lessons are what life is all about. That is how we understand and grow. Our Narcissistic Parents did not raise us this way. They did not allow us to experience, learn, grow and feel for ourselves. They muted all of our experiences and trained us to mute theirs.

We come into our new post abuse life in this same way. With all good intentions without proper people or parenting skills. Often people with pure hearts and the best of intentions can be the most hurtful and offensive.

Sometimes that hurtful and offensive person is us.

As we grow and heal we learn to reparent ourselves. When we understand how this is done and why it makes it so much easier to stop trying to "fix" everyone around us.

How many people have you ever truly "fixed" in this life with your good intentions and well meaning chats, time spent, all effort in, selflessness with others.

We mean well and as distasteful as it is to consider, we often waste our time talking "at" people who do not want  to hear what we have to say. They are not ready for the message that they have not yet learned for themselves.

Are we trying to tell them what to do? How can we fix others when we ourselves are broken?

Become the person you want to be and you will attract those people into your life. We can not fix anyone in this life time. We can only coach them and help them to find themselves once we have learned how to do this for ourselves.

Narcissistic Mother's Son - Depraved, Pedophile, Incest, Predatory, EVIL...

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Are Narcissists and Sociopaths More Intelligent, More Educated or More I...

Fight Narcissism & C. Meagan Michael: Thoughts On Being Reborn In Midlife / My Life Part 2

Fight Narcissism writes: 

 
I think it is a great gift, really - those of us who got to be 'reborn' so to speak. Yes, it was as painful and frightening as actually being delivered originally (I suppose!) but when we dig deep inside to the meaning of it we can live truly connected lives afterward.

I will see if I can find the video I watched (or maybe it was an article) about this very act of being 'reborn' at mid-life. The description in it was so affirming and positive. Have you seen what I am talking about? I cannot remember where I ran across it.

You will write your book, I am sure of it! You have so much to say and are very eloquent. You can do it!!

#unicorntales #writerswrite ♥☻
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C. Meagan Michael writes:

Unicorns Have Long Tales.. How is that for a title?

I LOVE what you said about ..."we can live truly connected lives afterward." SO well said. Sounds like a statement directly from source energy. <3

I agree. It is surely a gift. A hec of a painful looong term gift that keeps giving long after. I mean that honestly as well as sarcastically. I hated what my life had become. I did not know how to better myself because like many of us, I compared myself to the evil that surrounded me and in my mind that made me a selfless angel.

I think it is unfair and cruel that so many people live their entire lives in a victim mentality. Always feeling better than others, always judging themselves against other, doing foolishly selfless things (not the same as wise selfless things, as I am learning) like putting ourselves in harms way for total strangers and/or people who are horrible to us and don't deserve the time of day yet for us to risk our last day or dollar on earth.

I think that was the worlds longest run on sentence. Let's just go with it...

The part that is truly a cruel trick of our own brain is that WE EXPECT that same degree of perceived loyalty, honesty, bravery, selfless foolishness etc. We are always always always disappointed and "victimized" by the same people/type of people, over and over because they DO NOT CHANGE.

For some reason we think we can change others. That our kindness will be contagious. That if we offer a pair of our rose colored glasses to other and show them how to use them, that they will lose their harsh cynical ways and learn to live a happy life.

We think all kinds of untruths. We gaslight the hell out of ourselves.

It is nothing short of a miracle that we are able to be reborn, as you say, in midlife. For many of us who were done with life as we knew it... this is the only viable alternative.

I often wish it was easier. Less exhausting. Day after day, of upheaval. Life throwing new lessons at us at the same time that we are processing and reprocessing old ones until we extract the origin. The root information. When we learn the lesson completely and move on... is there such a time? I see that the same situations are creating more and more lessons as I process them through out time.

No, I have never seen that article or blog. I got the message directly from source. #MyLifePart2

xox Love you bunches Unicorn!
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23 Days In Jail Pt. 3! Self-Defense = Character Assassination On A Globa...

Thursday, July 14, 2016

23 Days In Jail! Self-Defense = Domestic Battery / Legal Abuse, Injustic...

A Wholly Holy New Life - Suicidal Contemplations With No Ideations

By C. Meagan Michael

Why does suicide appeal to anyone ever?

When life feels hopeless and there is no end in sight
to the pain and the suffering
you feel like human blight

A mistake of humanity
To which you don't belong
Why didn't she abort me
How did this go so wrong?

Who am I
Why am I
I don't understand

Do I serve a purpose
Other than the task at hand

Did I misunderstand the directions in life
Turning always left when I should have turned right

It pains me to contemplate how I can feel this way
Why do I regret living yet another day

Romanticizing suicide for all of my life
Even at my best
Hope of death
Underlined my life

Knowing I am part of a greater purpose matters
That I chose to live this life of tatters
I must have known I was strong enough to handle this choice
That I am who I am and I do have a voice

Am I supposed to shout to the heavens that life is so great
When I don't believe that
Is this my fate?

Though grateful I am to be here today
Understanding who I am in a wholly holy new way

Before we arrived here we did make a choice
We chose our parents, our life and our voice
Why did I choose such a challenging life
I could have been a man with 3 kids and a wife

Yet I have accepted this difficult fate
Overcoming challenges at this I am great
Who knew I would be so resilient a soul
Oh yes, that was me, this was my soul's goal

So, while I question my reason today
Living my life a wholly holy new way
I am blessed to know that one day I'll be free
But today my freedom I have found inside of me

The End

... is only the beginning.


Wednesday, July 13, 2016

When Life Looks Like Death and Death Gives Hope To Life - Suicide?

I will never know the full truth but I know this as my whole life truth right now... when you allow people to judge you based on your diagnosis you will never know who you truly are. When you define yourself by your diagnosis you are not living your authentic life. You are merely a puppet for the world to manipulate as they wish. You have given up your rights and thoughts as a human being. You are given medication that mutes your senses and therapy that mutes your thoughts. You are dead. You are disconnected from soul. You move around like a zombie from place to place and person to person hoping and praying that one day someone will "care about you and take care of you" because you do not know how to do this for yourself. When you are raised to be fully dependent and forced to believe you are fully disabled due to lifelong programming.. life looks like death and death looks like life. It is no wonder suicide was such an appealing "option" for my former self and others.

Suicide: A permanent solution to a temporary problem