by C. Meagan Michael
We need not be afraid of anything. What we need to be is cautious. Do not throw caution to the wind. Embrace it.
Anyone who has spent time in an abusive relationship needs to be very careful about getting close with anyone new. Take your time. Get to know this person inside and out. Sex complicates things. If you value your new life, good mental health, and sanity...
... T-A-K-E Y-O-U-R T-I-M-E
Do not rush into a relationship. Do not purge all your personal information. Do not share yourself physically because the psychological goes along with it. Do not blindly trust and make excuses for the behaviors that you notice but that to not coincide with what you see as "their personality."
Let their actions alone speak for them. Do not champion their past or present behaviors. Why? Because we are projecting our own good nature, values and morals onto them. Allow them to be who they are. Do not be afraid to be disappointed. Allow the truth to reveal itself. If you think the truth may not be what you want to hear THIS is a red flag in and of itself.
Words are meaningless without actions. Those who are sincere, who you mean something to, and who truly want you in their lives for the long run... will be patient. What's the rush?
Insane jealousy and possessiveness should not be part of any relationship. Especially early on when you are just getting to know each other. That is a huge red flag!
Toxic people have agendas. They are always rushing intimacy. That is only one Red Flag. There are many. Do you know the red flags? (what signs to look for) What do you consider green flags?
Always respect yourself. Know your worth. Never elevate others above you. Never put yourself down to build someone up. If you feel as if you need to squelch your accomplishments and talents to keep someone happy this is a sign of major TOXICITY
Listen to your gut. Discuss things with people in the healing community whom you know and trust. Bouncing things off of other people who are not in the midst of their own insane relationship is very helpful.
This is your life we are talking about. Haven't you wasted enough of it with Toxic People?
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