by C. Meagan Michael
Manipulators do not have relationships. They have "manipulationships." They target Empaths/Highly Sensitive People. People who, like us, would run to the ends of the earth to save someone's life and/or resolve their issue whatever it is. They see this in us.
They are excellent at reading people. In the beginning they love bomb us. It is more than just putting on ones "best face" they monopolize our time, thoughts, resources. The buy us lavish gifts (all things being relative) they lavish us with flattery and praise.
They are intently listening to everything we tell them about ourselves, our lives and our past. They seem to validate us. We tell them more and more. What we do is hand them over our self worth. We don't realize it at the time. Little by little they start to do what Begood4000 has termed "The Doo Doo Test" They throw in little digs or put downs. They do this to see how and if we respond.
Our gut says, "OUCH that's not right!" our minds make say, "what did I do wrong?" We clearly think we did something to make this person who "adores", values and worships us say something cruel like that. Something that undermines our confidence. We sweep it under the rug. By this time we are in love and enmeshed.
If we weren't we'd have packed up and hauled tail as soon as this happened. People with healthy self esteem/self love would feel smothered by the amount of overt attention these people pay to us in the beginning. People who are more secure would not fall prey to empty flattery. Though Toxic People sometimes do a good job of making flattery sound like a genuine compliment.
While I do believe that anyone can be a potential victim, I believe those of us suffering from Childhood Neglect and Childhood Trauma are far more susceptible and until we become awake and aware... easy targets.
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