Walking On Eggshells? Boundaries Part 2

Walking On Eggshells? - Boundaries Pt 1

Abraham Hicks ~ Speaking About Walking On Eggshells and Boundaries!

Walking On Eggshells? Part 2

While we are walking on eggshells or dancing on hot coals as I like to put it, we are solely focused on pleasing the other person. Doing this dance of insanity trying to make or keep them happy. It's all about control. We are the puppets and they are the puppeteers pulling our strings and making us dance.

What we fail to realize at the time is, there is no pleasing toxic people. The more we dance the hotter they turn up the heat on the coals. If we move left, they burn us there if we move right we are scorched. This is a no win situation for the people who want to please and a no lose situation for the toxic person.

There is nothing within our power that we can do to "fix" other people. Nor is it our responsibility to try. If someone is not a happy person there is nothing we can do to change that. Empathetic people who are drawn to these toxic types have the ability to self reflect and change. People who truly have a personality disorder (ie Narcissistic Personality Disorder) will never be able to see themselves honestly as they live their life behind a facade. They will never be held accountable and will always blame and shame you for their own problems. While telling you that it's all your fault.

It's not your fault. 

Toxic people often have a deep self loathing which they project onto you. There is often someone in their past, usually a narcissistic parent(s) whose approval they were never able to attain no matter how hard they tried.

They often create this same sad reality for their own children and their partners. People who are always expecting you to do everything to make them happy, know you have weak boundaries and that is why they keep you around. 

It's all about control. 

When we set boundaries with these people, they often rage, cry, scream, stonewall... sometimes discard us. Whatever, it is, it is them making sure we know at they are not okay with us taking care of ourselves. In their eyes we exist to take care of their needs. That is, until they have new supply and discard us.

Take back your power. Be 100% accountable for your own life. 

They are the center of their world and expect you to make them the center of yours. No matter how much you love someone you can not love them enough to make them love themselves. If someone does not love themselves they will always be finding fault with you and no matter what you do, it will never be enough for them and they will never be happy.

In fact if someone does not believe they are worth loving and you are doing back flips and coal dances for them, they disrespect you more and more each time. So while they expect you to do everything that they are manipulating you to do, they resent and are disgusted with you for doing it. 

 If you are walking on eggshells, you may want to ask yourself why you are tolerating this and when you are ready to be honest with yourself, there is a world of resources out here for you. people who are here to validate your experience and help you move to the next level. The only people we can change in this world is ourselves. We must begin with our thoughts. There IS light at the end of the tunnel!

Check out our Facebook Pages at
BreakingFreeFromToxicPeople On Facebook
BreakingFreeFromNarcissisticAbuse On Facebook

Feel free to check out my youtube channel to see if something resonates with you. C. Meagan Michael
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1CLdLHnJQeralLeqGSeKFA?view_as=subscriber

If not I can gladly recommend many other youtubers and authors who might be the perfect fit for you.

If you are seeking private coaching with me, contact me at:
IntuitiveHealthCoach.net@gmail.com

Walking On Eggshells?

You should never have to walk on egg shells in a healthy relationship with anyone. You know this too. When we walk on egg shells we are being inauthentic. We are not being true to ourselves. We are solely focused on the other person and what things we can and can not do in order for them to be okay with us, the world and themselves. 

It is healthy to be yourself regardless of who you are with. Anyone who gets upset because we set boundaries and expects us to walk on eggshells instead of enforcing our own boundaries is not a healthy person for us to spend time with. 

It builds up inside of us and causes us ill health. 

SHOCKING! Love Bombing Email From A Facebook Narc! NEW!

What Does A Love Bombing Email Look Like? #RealExample

Yesterday was my birthday. My friend and I took the pups to the dog beach. It was a long and wonderful day.

I came home to relax and thank my Facebook Friends for their birthday wishes when lo and behold a handsome man with a young son in his profile pic is requesting my friendship. Women get these requests all the time but I had a cocktail and felt like a game of "How Many Red Flags Can I Pick Out in 20 Minutes) I feel very safe in my sanity and I have very strong boundaries. So I decided to play along. Could he be sincere?

Not a chance lol

I won't go over the chat here. I will do that in my next video. I will however tell you that when I ended the chat. He asked for my email address and phone number. We'd only been chatting for about 20-30 minutes. My phone number? Really?

So I gave him my public email address. BreakingFreeFromToxicPeople@gmail.com (Inside joke with self and curious as to what this email might say)

He did NOT let me down! This morning's email confirmed absolutely EVERYTHING that my gut told me. Are you sitting down?

Hello beautiful,  its really nice to meet you, i just want you to know here are a few things i wish to do with you at some point in this lifetime, If we do work out nicely together..... Be your best friend. Get caught with you in the rain....Dance with you in the rain. Stargaze on a clear night. Watch the sunset together. Spend all day with you doing nothing. Moonlight walks on the beach. Be more proud of you than I already am at this very moment.Go on a carriage ride through the park. Do a crossword together. Go to brunch. Have a disagreement (it could/will only make us stronger). Go for a twilight horseback ride. Watch a bad movie together. Spend the rest of my life with you. Have our picture taken together. Eat ice cream with you. Make love to you passionately. Go to a museum together. Talk to each other using only body language. Give you space when you need it. Accept you totally and completely - flaws and all (I already do). Discuss current events in a heated debate. Have you see the error of your ways from aforementioned heated debate and make mad, torrid love to you, in the midst of all that passion. Carve our names into a tree/table.Go for a walk at dusk together. Be one with you. Send you a singing telegram. Spend all night thinking of 101 sweet things to do for you. Hold you and gaze into your eyes and realize how much I love you...and tell you. Gently run my hand across your cheek and look into your eyes. Blindfold you and take you somewhere romantic.Spend my life making you happy. Spend my life making our family happy. Feel your heartbeat. Go roller/ice skating together. Give you a backrub just because.ALWAYS being honest with each other. Go hiking/camping together. Have our first fight, make up and feel a stronger bond because we very successfully weathered the storm - together. Marry you. Laugh at someone together. Share a plate of spaghetti. Give you a stuffed animal just because. Go on a fun family vacation and bring back the kind of memories movies are made of. Treat you like my Lancelot. Go on a road trip across America. Count thunder together during a thunderstorm. Envelop you in my soul. Cook your favorite meal/meals. Know you better than you know yourself. Go to a Renaissance Fair. Plant a tree in our yard together. Look over at you during an office/military/family party and have you know without me saying a word - that I love you. Be able to say "I love you" in 89 different ways - in 89 different countries. Hold you when you're at your saddest and comfort you when you need it the most. Be the one you come to for that comfort and holding. Wipe away the days' stresses and issues, with just one hug/kiss.Grow old with you.

Love Always,

"The aforementioned ERROR OF MY WAYS?" - Did you catch that one?!

I am posting this for your perusal and going to shower. I will then turn on the camera and create a video as I go through this piece by piece. See how many red flags you can pick out and we can compare notes later :)

Don't Call Me Honey!

I work on the phone taking calls from seniors who are ordering products. I just stopped a customer from calling me, "Honey." I accept it from some of my customers because they mean it as a term of endearment as that was normal for them back in their day.

However, when someone tries to condescend to me and calls me honey in that tone... you know that tone.

F*ck that.

I said, "do not call me honey. My name is Meagan"

Do you know what he said?

"Oh. I have friends named Meagan" :) 

I set and enforced my boundary and he respected it. That was a healthy interaction.

I Used To Make All My Choices...

Does A Narcissist Mean It When They Say, "I Love You?"

Narcissists are incapable of unconditional love. So do they mean it when they say, “I love you?” They say it as a means to an end. If you are involved in any way with a narcissist, then you are in a "manipulationship" not a mutually beneficial relationship.

When they are done with you they can stop “loving” you as quickly as they started. You have been discarded. (It is a true blessing in disguise) 

If one of the former narcissists in your life is a Narcissistic Mother and she calls that cruel, backstabbing, disloyal, throw you under the bus for a total stranger, always conditional thing that she does, “love” than so be it.

Once we learn to truly love and respect ourselves, we will never again accept their fake love in our lives. Wrapping abuse up with a pretty bow and calling it LOVE... is still abuse.

Who Is Responsible For Creating The Life You Want After Abuse?

Many people get stuck in a post-abuse rut and are afraid to make the drastic changes needed in order to live the life that they truly want to live. Often talking and complaining about things endlessly and make no forward motion. When one is always pointing fingers at someone else and blaming them for all that is wrong in their lives they are not able to see clearly what needs to be changed and change it.

Accepting responsibility for our own lives does NOT invalidate our experience or excuse the behavior of our past abusers. We have to realize that we can only change ourselves in this life. In order to change our lives, we need to dig deep and make the changes necessary to lead the life we want. It has nothing to do with them. The best thing we can do with Toxic People is keep them our of our lives and most of all.... out of our minds.

Change can be exhausting, challenging, frustrating and scary but it is also exciting, interesting, validating and promotes spiritual and emotional growth. We MUST change our thoughts in order to change ourselves. We must change ourselves in order to change our circumstances.

Once we take responsibility for our own happiness and stop looking behind or in front of us for someone else to make things happen, we realize that our champion has been with us all along. We are our own superman.

Most Co-dependents are their own worst enemy but believe they are a best friend to everyone else. It is impossible to truly be a best friend to someone else when you have never experienced real friendship. Co-deps give and give and give, often to their own detriment. Later becoming bitter and resentful because they gave so much and it was not reciprocal.

The fault is not outside of ourselves. True everlasting change and healing must come from within.

#Accountability #SelfLove #SelfValidation #ReprogrammingOurBrains 

Are You Waiting For Others To Create Your Reality?

Hoping things will be different in life and then leaving the situation because they are not what you hoped, is not you creating your own reality. Those are the actions of someone hoping the reality that someone else creates will suit them.

Think about that for a moment...

Many of us became somewhat passive aggressive through the years. We learned to allow others to create our reality and then resented the reality that they created. Oftentimes complaining to others about this reality that did not suit us but never directly addressing the cause directly to see if something could be done to improve or change it for the situation for the better.

Through the years we were made to believe our opinions not only did not matter, but were worthless. We were made to think we were worthless so how could our opinions matter.

Expressing our opinions and feelings in the past would create conflict. Who likes conflict? Many of us became non confrontational to the extreme. If we are to truly move past being victims and survivors and thrive in this life, we need to feel comfortable and confident sharing our opinions and our feelings

Connecting With Our Gut - How To Sense A Toxic Person - Physical Red Flags

The Process Of Breaking Free...

I now understand that breaking free is a process. Initially it was a big move an escape from torture and pure evil but once we have broken free and we are on our own, the process continues. We learn, evolve, grow and continue to realize ALL the toxic people in our lives and break free from them.

Breaking free is not only from other people, We have to break free from negative thinking. Toxic thought patterns that were burned into our brains as children and abused adults.

The process of self discovery, self love, self care is SO empowering. It is not easy. If anyone tells you it is they are fibbing but is it worth it? Is it life changing? Is it so life changing that you know had you not been torn down that far you could not have built yourself back up to the amazing life you are living now? YES!

A thousand times yes. Abundance, joy living a happy healthy narc free life is an ongoing process but after all we have been through, we know that we are not only survivors but thrivers. We are able to enjoy life, because we enjoy being ourselves. We appreciate everything big and small. We create our own reality. We have taken back our power and vow never to give it away to anyone again. We are in charge of our own lives and no one can stop us now. <3