It Must Be Me - Insanity Unleashed

It Must Be Me - Insanity Unleashed

by C. Meagan Michael

Narcissists need constant attention to feed their excessive need for validation. They are closet People Pleasers.  *Fearful that you will expose them for who they are, they start to expose you for what you are not.

Painting you as the unstable one.

Smear Campaigns provoke the victim into arguing or explaining indefinitely to "prove their sanity." At best the victim looks unstable. At worst, the victim is made to appear as the villain. 

Victim and Saviour are the two roles the Toxic Abuser takes on. Creating this illusion is extremely common as every victim needs to be victimized by a villain and you have been chosen.

We inadvertently feed the Flying Monkeys and often create them ourselves with our own behavior. 

Trying to prove sanity all the time enforces the appearance of our instability, which we often become due to the abuse.

 Forever, being told that we are 'Crazy' we often enter into therapy. We are seeking a Health Care Professional to make sense of the insanity and to validate our perception and experiences.

All too often they too become flying monkeys. The victim feels even more invalidated, persecuted, and alone. This can easily appear as Paranoia as well as Depression, Rage, Anxiety, Confusion which are often misdiagnosed as diseases and personality disorders. While the Narcissist or Sociopath looks completely intact and sane. 

Disabled individuals are easy and common targets for Narcissists. Who capitalize on the existing diagnosis and exploit the ignorance of the general public.

In couples or family therapy the Health Care Professional will often inadvertently validate the abuser, which again invalidates your experience entirely.

                             

It is rare that we are the kind of person the abuser makes us out to be.  In defending ourselves we often get frustrated and angry. Saying things we later regret. The Narcissist feeds off of this and commits every word or action to memory. Not only will they throw it in your face forever but they will tell everyone what you said, did or even threatened. 

You look like the bad guy… again.

In our desperate need for validation and truth, when asked if we said or did such a thing. We may say, "Yes I did say that, but they did..." or Yes, but only after they..." No matter. They are calm and in control and you appear to be a "basket case." 

Double Bind - Catch 22 - Damned if you do and damned if you don't

A very small percentage of communication is actually verbal. People read your body language, tone and pace of voice as well as other cues unknowingly. The more invalidated we become the more desperate we become for validation.

This vicious self perpetuating cycle of insanity leaves the victim doubting themselves, their perceptions of reality and often take on the abusers opinion of them as their own truth.  We are left thinking, "It must be me..."

by C. Meagan Michael

* Quote from Self-Care Haven

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