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Wednesday, January 27, 2016

I Thought You Were My Friend! - People Will Judge

by C. Meagan Michael



People will judge us. This is human nature. Do not concern yourself with the opinions of others. Even those you call "friend" can never see things from your genuine perspective. It is easy for others to point fingers at someone else as opposed to pointing at themselves and fixing their own issues. 

People who are not supportive of you at your toughest times in life are not genuinely concerned for your well being. Hence, they are not a friend. Do what your gut says is the right thing and you will never be wrong.

Thursday, January 21, 2016

The Silent Treatment

By C. Meagan Michael

The Silent Treatment is extremely degrading and devaluing. You are made to believe you are not only insignificant and unimportant but a burden. As if your mere existence is a negative and you should be grateful they tolerate you at all.
There is so much said when nothing is said.. and they know it.


Stop apologizing for living and get on with your life!


The silence is so loud it is deafening.



Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Monday, January 18, 2016

You Crazy Bitch! NPD abuse by proxy - Psychiatric Abuse

You Crazy Bitch! 

By C. Meagan Michael

Monday, January 18, 2016
10:11 AM


Made to believe we are mentally ill or unstable, we are sent  to professionals who are not familiar with victims of abuse. They do not know how to treat it. So, they label us based on the symptoms we share and the knowledge they have.

Clinical Depression
Bi Polar Disorder
Anxiety Disorder
Panic Disorder
Agoraphobia
ADHD


Then we are referred to their colleagues. Psychiatrists who specialize in giving out medications in order to treat these disorders. A profession based on the lies that these medications have been proven effective in treating diseases that scientists can not prove exist.

We are stigmatized by society and by ourselves who are a part of the very society who stigmatize mental illness. Our Narcissistic Parents feed off of and nurture our "disabilities." We are often unable to hold a job due to symptoms from Maternal Abuse/Emotional Neglect, but we all believe it is due to our diagnosed mental illness, when in fact it is due to the un-diagnosed one.

We are sent, sometimes voluntarily and other times by force, to Psychiatric Hospitals. Where people who have 100% power over us manipulate and control us. They medicate us at will. The Hospital Psychiatrist, who is rarely our own doctor on the outside, is in ultimate control of the medications that numb our feelings and dull our minds. People who do not know us and are supposed to "fix us" based on the symptoms we are currently exhibiting.


It is extremely rare in a psychiatric hospital to receive any kind of worthwhile therapy. It's all about medicating and controlling us. Keeping us from harming ourselves or others for 3 days (generally all insurance will cover) and releasing us with absolutely no more coping skills then we went in with. Healing is never an option. We are told we are permanently damaged. There is no cure but take your meds and it will be controlled. The system is innately flawed.

Each Psychiatrist will agree with the previous doctors diagnosis yet almost always prescribe different medications to treat it. Telling them what works for us is usually irrelevant because you are the "crazy patient" and your opinion is disregarded completely. As if we could not possibly know our minds and bodies better than a complete stranger.

This feeds right into our lifetime of Trauma Drama. Our thoughts, feelings, opinions and emotions being disregarded and devalued since birth. We are made to believe every one else knows what's best for us. So we seek validation throughout our lives from everyone but ourselves. 

We have been raised and reinforced to believe that we are unworthy, unlovable, incompetent, insignificant, a burden, broken, less than able, different and utterly defective.

We look at those around us to our family of origin, to see who we take after. Our narcissistic parents surely does not take credit for our troubles. Nor does the enabling parent, as pointing fingers at the Narcissistic parent would cause them to be the target. We must take after a "crazy aunt" or other relative. Surely it has nothing to do with them. Only our good qualities come from them. The qualities they enjoy taking credit for. 

We are led to believe we are a conglomeration of disabilities and failures. Often according to the medical community we should be "grateful to have parents and partners who are willing to put up with us."

The medical community is used by them to abuse us by proxy. They often become the primary abusers later in life or secondary to an abusive partner.

 "A lifetime of disappointment for our over indulgent parent. Who tried their very best…"





Sunday, January 17, 2016

Why No Contact? - Expanded Explanation

Why No Contact?

By C. Meagan Michael


No contact is the best way to get healthy and stay healthy. Our Narcissistic Mother, Father or Ex will never be who we need them to be. They will never be who we want them to be. They will never be who they pretended to be once upon a time. 




They will remain who they are and continue to do what they do. Staying true to their manipulative and exploitative nature. A narcissist can no sooner become empathic than an empath can develop Narcissistic Personality Disorder.


Saturday, January 16, 2016

Tapping Into "Me!" - Waking In Control Of Our Own Minds

Tapping Into "Me!" 
By C. Meagan Michael


Every morning before I open my eyes I make a mental list of 10 things that I am grateful for. This list often varies and sometimes stays the same. 

My list today for example:

I am grateful for;
  1. My dogs
  2. My cats
  3. My bed
  4. My toothbrush
  5. My creativity
  6. My own space
  7. Having 2 bathrooms to myself
  8. Having Food to eat
  9. My Peace of Mind 
  10. My self actualization


It is not the size of item I am grateful for. It is the fact that I am grateful for it. I do not judge what comes to mind or edit it. I just observe and appreciate it. This is a most effective way to begin the day on a positive note.

"Maintain an attitude of gratitude"


You are taking charge of your own thoughts before they take charge of you.  Our minds when "left unattended" will automatically start playing old tapes from the past traumas. Our mother's or father's thoughts about themselves projected onto us in early childhood that we have come to believe are our own.

When we start taking control of our thoughts first thing in the morning, we are setting the tone for our entire day. Tapping into our True Authentic Selves, our Higher Consciousness…

… Tapping into "Me"

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Me Me Memes II

Breaking Free From Narcissistic Abuse
and 
Breaking Free From Toxic People







Please, Email me to request entry into The Toxic Unicorn. It is a Secret Group created on Facebook for people like us to vent and discuss privately what we choose not to discuss in public.



Friday, January 1, 2016

Narcissistic Feeding Frenzy!




Narcissist Sundae Recipe


Veil Of Deception - The Unblinded Mind

Veil Of Deception

by C. Meagan Michael


Something has triggered this. It often feels as if a curse has been lifted. The Veil that once shrouded your whole toxic relationship in mystery has vanished. 

You see the little man behind the curtain. The great and powerful Oz, was merely just a little man. 

Mindblindness is gone and for the first time in forever you can see truth. Finally your truth and the truth are one and the same. 

You are on your way to freedom. Rejoice and celebrate the breaking of the Rose Colored Glasses. 



It Must Be Me - Insanity Unleashed

It Must Be Me - Insanity Unleashed

by C. Meagan Michael


Narcissists need constant attention to feed their excessive need for validation. They are closet People Pleasers.  *Fearful that you will expose them for who they are, they start to expose you for what you are not.

Painting you as the unstable one.




Smear Campaigns provoke the victim into arguing or explaining indefinitely to "prove their sanity." At best the victim looks unstable. At worst, the victim is made to appear as the villain. 

Victim and Saviour are the two roles the Toxic Abuser takes on. Creating this illusion is extremely common as every victim needs to be victimized by a villain and you have been chosen.

We inadvertently feed the Flying Monkeys and often create them ourselves with our own behavior. 

Trying to prove sanity all the time enforces the appearance of our instability, which we often become due to the abuse.

 Forever, being told that we are 'Crazy' we often enter into therapy. We are seeking a Health Care Professional to make sense of the insanity and to validate our perception and experiences.

All too often they too become flying monkeys. The victim feels even more invalidated, persecuted, and alone. This can easily appear as Paranoia as well as Depression, Rage, Anxiety, Confusion which are often misdiagnosed as diseases and personality disorders. While the Narcissist or Sociopath looks completely intact and sane. 

Disabled individuals are easy and common targets for Narcissists. Who capitalize on the existing diagnosis and exploit the ignorance of the general public.

In couples or family therapy the Health Care Professional will often inadvertently validate the abuser, which again invalidates your experience entirely.

                             

It is rare that we are the kind of person the abuser makes us out to be.  In defending ourselves we often get frustrated and angry. Saying things we later regret. The Narcissist feeds off of this and commits every word or action to memory. Not only will they throw it in your face forever but they will tell everyone what you said, did or even threatened. 

You look like the bad guy… again.


In our desperate need for validation and truth, when asked if we said or did such a thing. We may say, "Yes I did say that, but they did..." or Yes, but only after they..." No matter. They are calm and in control and you appear to be a "basket case." 

Double Bind - Catch 22 - Damned if you do and damned if you don't


A very small percentage of communication is actually verbal. People read your body language, tone and pace of voice as well as other cues unknowingly. The more invalidated we become the more desperate we become for validation.

This vicious self perpetuating cycle of insanity leaves the victim doubting themselves, their perceptions of reality and often take on the abusers opinion of them as their own truth.  We are left thinking, "It must be me..."



by C. Meagan Michael

* Quote from Self-Care Haven

If you'd like to, comment below feel free to share your story.

The Green Globe Of Toxic Envy - Narcissistic Jealousy

The Green Globe Of Toxic Envy

By C. Meagan Michael

1/1/16