It Must Be Me - Insanity Unleashed
by C. Meagan Michael
Narcissists
need constant attention to feed their excessive need for validation. They are
closet People Pleasers. *Fearful that you will expose them for who they
are, they start to expose you for what you are not.
Painting you as the unstable one.
Smear
Campaigns provoke the victim into arguing or explaining indefinitely to "prove their sanity." At
best the victim looks unstable. At worst, the victim is made to appear as the
villain.
Victim and Saviour are the two roles the Toxic Abuser takes on.
Creating this illusion is extremely common as every victim needs to be
victimized by a villain and you have been chosen.
We
inadvertently feed the Flying Monkeys and often create them ourselves with our
own behavior.
Trying
to prove sanity all the time enforces the appearance of our instability, which we often become due to the abuse.
Forever, being told that we are 'Crazy' we often enter into therapy. We
are seeking a Health Care Professional to make sense of the insanity and to validate our
perception and experiences.
All
too often they too become flying monkeys. The victim feels even more
invalidated, persecuted, and alone. This can easily appear as Paranoia as well as Depression, Rage, Anxiety, Confusion which are often misdiagnosed as diseases and
personality disorders. While the Narcissist or Sociopath looks completely intact and sane.
Disabled individuals are easy and common targets for Narcissists. Who capitalize on the existing diagnosis and exploit the ignorance of the general public.
In couples or family therapy the
Health Care Professional will often inadvertently validate the abuser, which again invalidates your experience entirely.
It
is rare that we are the kind of person the abuser makes us out to be. In defending ourselves we often get
frustrated and angry. Saying things we later regret. The Narcissist feeds
off of this and commits every word or action to memory. Not only will they throw it in
your face forever but they will tell everyone what you said, did or even threatened.
You
look like the bad guy… again.
In
our desperate need for validation and truth, when asked if we said or did such
a thing. We may say, "Yes I did say that, but they did..." or Yes,
but only after they..." No matter. They are calm and in control and you
appear to be a "basket case."
Double
Bind - Catch 22 - Damned if you do and damned if you don't
A
very small percentage of communication is actually verbal. People read your
body language, tone and pace of voice as well as other cues unknowingly. The
more invalidated we become the more desperate we become for validation.
This
vicious self perpetuating cycle of insanity leaves the victim doubting
themselves, their perceptions of reality and often take on the abusers opinion
of them as their own truth. We are left thinking, "It must be me..."
by C. Meagan Michael
* Quote from Self-Care Haven
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