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Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Walking On Eggshells? Part 2



While we are walking on eggshells or dancing on hot coals as I like to put it, we are solely focused on pleasing the other person. Doing this dance of insanity trying to make or keep them happy. It's all about control. We are the puppets and they are the puppeteers pulling our strings and making us dance.

What we fail to realize at the time is, there is no pleasing toxic people. The more we dance the hotter they turn up the heat on the coals. If we move left, they burn us there if we move right we are scorched. This is a no win situation for the people who want to please and a no lose situation for the toxic person.

There is nothing within our power that we can do to "fix" other people. Nor is it our responsibility to try. If someone is not a happy person there is nothing we can do to change that. Empathetic people who are drawn to these toxic types have the ability to self reflect and change. People who truly have a personality disorder (ie Narcissistic Personality Disorder) will never be able to see themselves honestly as they live their life behind a facade. They will never be held accountable and will always blame and shame you for their own problems. While telling you that it's all your fault.

It's not your fault. 

Toxic people often have a deep self loathing which they project onto you. There is often someone in their past, usually a narcissistic parent(s) whose approval they were never able to attain no matter how hard they tried.

They often create this same sad reality for their own children and their partners. People who are always expecting you to do everything to make them happy, know you have weak boundaries and that is why they keep you around. 
It's all about control. 

When we set boundaries with these people, they often rage, cry, scream, stonewall... sometimes discard us. Whatever, it is, it is them making sure we know at they are not okay with us taking care of ourselves. In their eyes we exist to take care of their needs. That is, until they have new supply and discard us.

Take back your power. Be 100% accountable for your own life. 

They are the center of their world and expect you to make them the center of yours. No matter how much you love someone you can not love them enough to make them love themselves. If someone does not love themselves they will always be finding fault with you and no matter what you do, it will never be enough for them and they will never be happy.

In fact if someone does not believe they are worth loving and you are doing back flips and coal dances for them, they disrespect you more and more each time. So while they expect you to do everything that they are manipulating you to do, they resent and are disgusted with you for doing it. 

 If you are walking on eggshells, you may want to ask yourself why you are tolerating this and when you are ready to be honest with yourself, there is a world of resources out here for you. people who are here to validate your experience and help you move to the next level. The only people we can change in this world is ourselves. We must begin with our thoughts. There IS light at the end of the tunnel!

Check out our Facebook Pages at
BreakingFreeFromToxicPeople On Facebook
BreakingFreeFromNarcissisticAbuse On Facebook

Feel free to check out my youtube channel to see if something resonates with you. C. Meagan Michael
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1CLdLHnJQeralLeqGSeKFA?view_as=subscriber

If not I can gladly recommend many other youtubers and authors who might be the perfect fit for you.

If you are seeking private coaching with me, contact me at:
IntuitiveHealthCoach.net@gmail.com

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Walking On Eggshells?





You should never have to walk on egg shells in a healthy relationship with anyone. You know this too. When we walk on egg shells we are being inauthentic. We are not being true to ourselves. We are solely focused on the other person and what things we can and can not do in order for them to be okay with us, the world and themselves. 

It is healthy to be yourself regardless of who you are with. Anyone who gets upset because we set boundaries and expects us to walk on eggshells instead of enforcing our own boundaries is not a healthy person for us to spend time with. 

It builds up inside of us and causes us ill health.